You know this business is hard. The actual acting is not hard, it's the busy business-the picking the right headshot, the targeting casting directors, the agents, the mailings, the driving to auditions 3 hours away, the finding a monologue, the begging, the pleading, the saying your sorry to your family because you can't come to their birthday party because you have an audition-it's ALOT of work dammit! Yesterday I was tired of it all. I felt bogged down by any activity stated above. There was no email in my inbox that said "Cristyn come to our agency-we'd love to have you". I couldn't even get an email response from a class I wanted to take. I mean I'm tired of it.
And then..early this morning came a theater call back email. "Cristyn we loved you. You were great. Please come to our call back on Monday". Is it sad to say I feel better after reading that? Am I SO self-involved it takes a production assistant to say he loves me for me to be happy? Isn't giving to the poor and searching for Mother's Day presents and doing secret birthday surprises for family enough? Why is it just different when my sister says "You are great, sis" than when a production assistant says "We loved your energy!" Why is one answer better than the other?
And then..early this morning came a theater call back email. "Cristyn we loved you. You were great. Please come to our call back on Monday". Is it sad to say I feel better after reading that? Am I SO self-involved it takes a production assistant to say he loves me for me to be happy? Isn't giving to the poor and searching for Mother's Day presents and doing secret birthday surprises for family enough? Why is it just different when my sister says "You are great, sis" than when a production assistant says "We loved your energy!" Why is one answer better than the other?
Acting is a very selfish career-ask any actor. Everything we do, is to make us look better, better hair, work out more, eat less, whine, complain, be self loathing...it's pathetic. I guess if you take a look around at the actors in the world, really take a look at them and their life they had before acting, you'd see why they got in the business. Something was missing. And the only way they could get that 'something' back was to be up on stage or in front of a camera- to be told "you were great". So you can't fault us for being selfish, we are just trying to get back what is missing.
Those people in the world who give unselfishly-I know who you are. I see you all the time. You aren't missing a piece in you, you are complete, giving, loving and beautiful.
1 comment:
We are special, aren't we?
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