Just do it

You know I am so adamant about the saying 'if you really wanted something you would have it'. I say it to everyone. For example 'if she really wanted to move she would', 'if he really wanted that promotion he would have it'. Its so true. We have the capability to have whatever we want-if we REALLY want it. I was thinking about that this morning as I drove to work. The same must apply to me. It would be hypocritical if it didn't. If you really want to be an actress Cristyn, then you would be. Then I got to thinking. Is this something I really want? I have been going through all of the motions, submitting headhots daily, sending out mailings to agents & casting directors, taking classes in LA-what else do I have to do? You have to want it really really bad. Not half ass. Maybe I've just been scared of something that I say I want. If I really wanted to be an actress, I would be. So what's the prob bob?
When I was little I would play outside all summer long. From morning till night. Until one day my mom called me in early. "Come on Cris, its time to take a bath." For what? "you have school starting tomorrow and you have to get ready" SCHOOL? Oh my the anxiety. Why didn't you tell me sooner? Why do I have to go? I'm scared. My stomach hurts. What if everyone laughs at me? "This is why I didn't tell you sooner. You don't like change. It makes you very nervous". So it goes. Thats the truth my mom convinced me of. "I don't like change". Not doing any blaming here. It is true- I would freak out. I guess if the words were "Don't worry- change is fun and exciting" -then today I wouldn't be hiding behind my computer writing about it but on a soundstage acting it out.
I am sincerly scared to make the change. I am scared to leave San Diego and give acting a try. And I am scared if I don't, my life will pass me by and I'll look back with regrets of "why didn't I just try?" Good Golly Miss Molly, what is it I am so afraid of?

It's working

The plan. The 5 steps to Hollywood plan I created-It's working. I auditioned on Wednesday for a short film called the "Picnic" and last night I auditioned for a full length film as "bitchy artsy girl". Honestly I hope I get that one. Then today I got an email about a film I submitted for. The production company asked that I come in and audition for the lead instead of the supporting part I originally submitted for. Its working. Step one was to get a less expensive car with higher gas mileage-CHECK. Step 2 is look for a job in LA-CHECK the next 3 steps are in the works. But its all going to work out. ; - )

Faggettabouttit

My acting career has been on a slow pace for a while now but I am positive it will start to pick up. My first audition in over a month is scheduled for this Saturday in San Diego. Its for a short film and I couldn't tell you what the plot is. All I was told is, show up read sides, get the part. Also on the horizon is a webisode(?) where I'll be playing a walk-on part as a flirt. That's all I know as well. So as you can see -not too much going on. That's ok because I can keep busy shopping for a bikini for my cruise in July!

All I have to say is- I LOVE it! I love going there every week. I love all of my class mates. I love my teacher-even the substitute one we had this week ; - ) I love it! I can't wait to sign up for Level 2 and I can't wait to eventually audition for them to be in their troupe. Oh ya baby. Oh ya!

A beautiful day

Brad married Cari on May 5, 2007. I have been friends with Cari for over 5 years. Since I met her there was no doubt it was going to be Brad she was going to marry. He was the one she talked about since the very first day. The wedding was held in my favorite part of San Diego, Balboa Park. It was a perfect day -as San Diego always is-the sun, the breeze, the flowers, even the tiny little ring barre rs made it up the aisle without a stumble. And I got through the ceremony with out a tear! The reception was held outside the park near the herbal garden. It was just enough food and wine and love from all of Cari and Brads' friends. And they have tons! The after party was held at Modus in Hillcrest. Such a trendy fun place to go and dance and eat. That was were the booties were shakin. I love the energy of a wedding. When you get all of your friends together in one place-the energy and the alcohol makes for a very friendly night!! The music made everyone dance and sing like they were American Idols. I believe at one point one of the cooky Accredited guys said "oh cool- stars". I was convinced he was crazy until I looked over at a group of guys smoking 'cigars'!! Stars/cigars-whatever-they were good. Oh and the drinks-puhlease! I am convinced Cari and Brad came up with the drink list the names were 'the ruby sipper', the 'orgasmo' ( I may have made that one up!) and the one I was drinking all night-'Foreplay'! Needless to say, my feet are absolutely aching from all the boogying!
All in all it was a lovely wedding. It goes without saying that Cari and Brad were meant for each other-they are exactly alike. In fact, all the couples there were the same as the other. I guess that's how you can tell you have the right person-if you look at them and they are your mirror. Here's to Cari and Brad! Good luck in the future!


PS-It took me all day to write this blog! Damn those 'foreplays'

Artastic

My sister when to a graffiti art show up in LA over the weekend. She brought back tons of pictures from miscellaneous artists that work with all sorts of different mediums. This one was my favorite. I wish I created it on my own. Its on some sort of wood. I just love her! It has a very comic book/cartoon feel. While she was there I went to the art walk in little Italy. This was the first year where there was more 'good' art than hotel art. Hotel art, by the way makes me not feel well-physically. I don't know what it is. Its like watching bad acting. (PS-if you want to catch some really good acting-watch Amy Brenneman in the new Greys Anatomy spin off. I could only dream of being that natural.) I really need to get back to painting. In the past when I have been in a 'drought' I either, took up another acting class or started painting. Now it just seems laziness is winning!

Moon Dance

Don't forget tonight is a full moon and your chance at receiving good luck or cash! Stand in front of the moon and hold up your wallet. Dance in a circle and sing 3 times: Mr. Moon Mr. Moon fill my wallet.

Good things will happen after spending 30 seconds of embaressment!

What comes around...

This summer I am taking 2 trips to Florida. I am also going to the Groundlings every Saturday until the end of June. These 3 things have been putting a thorn in the side of my theatrical debut. There have been 4 people that have asked me to read their play or come and audition for their play in the Actors Alliance festival. I had to turn all of them down due to conflicts. Again, acting laughing in my face. Today I got an email from another hopeful playwright. I told her my conflicts and she seems ok. Lets hope this works out. If it does, this will be my first play in a year. The last one was Sexual Perversity in Chicago. I dove back into film after that one and haven't had the cajonas to go back. But something seems to be pulling me to the Actors Alliance festival. I have very fond memories of this festival. It was the first time I was shaking in my skin to go up on stage. Luckily my stage partner had the 'cajonas' to calm me down. Thanks.

I don't care.

I have been keeping track of all the audition submissions I have sent in. For the month of April I sent in 36. That's an average of 1.16 a day. I got 1 job from it. Ok when I didn't worry about working, I would get jobs all of the time. Constantly busy. Never sitting at home watching American Idol. Never bored. Its time to go back to one. So here it is...I don't care if I get a film, commercial, print job. I don't care. I'm just going to focus on my trip to Florida this summer, go dancing, go to a wedding this weekend, check out the new Gosling film, and maybe figure out the best vegetarian restaurant in San Diego. But as far as acting, we are on a break!

contrary to what you think, I hate having my picture taken!